Vivid Was My Mind
 
 
by Travelling One
 
Email: travelling_one@yahoo.ca
Web: http://www.travellingone.com
Summary: As Daniel's work effectiveness slacks off, SG1 aims to find out why.
Related Episodes: Fallen, Avenger 2.0; Evolution
Season: 7
Pairings: None
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended. Any original characters, situations, and storylines are the property of the author. Archive only with permission please.
 
NOTES: If this story is having problems fully loading, please press "Stop" and then "Refresh". If this doesn't work, please let me know. - T.O.
 
December/04
While Colonel O'Neill's off-the-cuff remarks often triggered unwitting solutions to their scientific dilemmas, this time thanks had to go to Daniel, and tired vocalizations of relief echoed from the other four senior scientists now eagerly abandoning the lab. They could all sleep a little more restfully tonight, and come back to work in the morning with a goal in sight.
 
"Thanks for your help, Daniel," Sam gratefully acknowledged her teammate, lightly rubbing his arm as he wearily maneuvered himself towards the door. It was late, and SG1's mission would be a go in less than six hours. If not for the archeologist's spur-of-the-moment suggestion, she and the others in this lab would have been up working most of the night. She hated the thought of leaving this project solely in the hands of the other scientists; this was her baby and she'd wanted to be around for the full testing procedure. Now, she was only grateful to be able to get back to her room on base and catch a few hours of blissful dreaming.
 
_____
 
The planet was unoccupied this side of the peninsula. The narrow marshy land made the ground uninhabitable without proper drainage, but the locals had been more than willing to lend transport to SG1 in the form of animal-drawn carts. Animals that looked sort of like horses, or cows, with a stretch of the imagination. In spite of Earth's forty-five hundred mammal species, two million other species if one counted insects, SG1 never seemed to quit marvelling at the varied number of unusual living creatures occupying the universe.
 
"Okay kids, time to pack up. Jzeda wants his cart back before dark and I don't want to be camping on this damp ground tonight." Kinda like sleeping on a bed of soggy tissues. Jack's lips subconsciously knotted at the image. "Nothing more for us here anyway." He dug his heel into the marshy soil, already eyeing the huge sun low in the sky, the moons attempting to make that faded ghostly appearance one sees on Earth in approaching dusk. If this warmth was their winter, he certainly wouldn't want to visit during the summer. But once night fell, the drop in temperature was sudden and the dew quick to plaster the walls of their tents, even on the mainland. For the past two nights, SG1 had been more than willing to take the locals up on their offers of hospitality and accommodation. "Daniel, go help Carter carry the rest of the samples. Teal'c and I will pack up the cart."
 
Daniel set off towards the far end of the small landmass. Carter could be seen in the distance, bending low to the ground, finishing up her job. The soil here was rich with unknown minerals, the plants were varied and unusual. Even the locals said their abundant plant life on this strip was to be found nowhere else on the continent, surrounded by what they swore were pure and magical waters. Hadn't SG1 planned on getting some samples of that too?
 
Daniel strode over to the water's edge. This could have been any lake on Earth; the water was a bit murky, with algae swishing underneath in the shallow waves. He stared at his crumpled reflection. There was a poem in there somewhere, but he'd be damned if he could think of one. Tentatively, he reached into the water and pulled out some strands of the weed.
 
The setting sun caught the edges of the seaweed as he held it up to the light, the drops of water sparkling like jeweled rainbows. Almost mesmerized, he could lose himself in one of those drops…
 
"Daniel?" The radio startled him.
 
"What?"
 
"You planning on helping Carter any time this week?" Jack's voice relayed impatience, tinged with irritation. Daniel looked up to see Jack in the distance staring in his direction.
 
"Sam?"
 
A pause. "Daniel. I asked you to get Carter."
 
"You did?" Daniel looked off towards the tip of the landmass, where Carter was trying to load two packs onto her back.
 
"We're leaving, Daniel. Teal'c and I are already done."
 
"I'm on my way." He knew he'd been daydreaming a lot since this mission had begun, but Daniel really couldn't figure out when Jack had asked him to help Sam.
 
_____
 
The animals and cart headed back towing the four occupants, travellers from the stars beyond. The trail through the fields was highlighted by blue and purple clover, the small town glinting far off in the dimming daylight, its small speck of unnatural colours blending in with the greens and browns of sculpted land.
 
It was interesting that in this uncluttered, unassuming environment, this simple culture might have something of value to offer SG1. Other than the people themselves, that is, amongst whom Daniel had been in his element. Plants that Carter felt may once have graced Earth itself, before being torn up by housing complexes and tarmac. In Daniel's opinion, such natural wealth still existed in some part of the wild world, hopefully, in whatever marshy places Earth had left unexplored and unattended. But it was the composition of the soil, more so several feet underground, that had gained their attention and respect; the bits of stone dug from below showed highly magnetic properties.
 
Jack thought his scientists were both too optimistic. And irrelevant; if this world was the only place capable of supplying certain minerals, so be it, but they still had to test the samples to see if they were really of any use. For all they knew, this stuff might be good for nothing more than mixing up an invigorating mud bath.
 
They arrived back in the town just as the last rays of sun were painting the sky turquoise and orange, and Daniel's digital video was catching the best of it. Unpacking their loads from the cart, Jack stopped to shake hands with the locals who had been gracious enough to allow the use of their equipment and the study of their lands. These people had been pleasant and generous; in exchange for their hospitality the SGC had provided fabric for making clothing, along with a variety of blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags. Already the women could be seen wearing the fanciest of the fabric as shawls, decorating their shoulders and heads.
 
With a few final goodbyes, SG1 was ready to head back to the gate, a ten-minute walk down the path.
 
"Hang on, sir," Carter was still rummaging around, straightening out her equipment and sample bags.
 
"Missing something, Major?"
 
"I'm not sure, Sir. Daniel, where did you put the naquada detector?"
 
Daniel hesitated. He'd been using that out in the field to test the rocks this afternoon. After that… "I put it in your pack."
 
"No, you couldn't have." Sam looked up, puzzled. "Which pack?"
 
"Uh…" Daniel got down on his knees beside her, checking the supplies. "I have no idea." On second thought, he couldn't actually remember putting it in a pack at all.
 
As Jack looked on, tapping his fingers against his thigh with growing impatience, both scientists continued searching for a device that was nowhere to be found. "I might have dropped it in the grass," Daniel suggested apologetically.
 
"Daniel!" scowled the CO. "What the hell's been going on with you today?"
 
"I'm really sorry, Jack. This place just seems to have been, um, diluting my attention."
 
"From your job?" Jack retorted with unconcealed sarcasm and annoyance. "How? There's nothing here."
 
"There's a lot here, Jack. People, culture, nature."
 
"Right. Let's hope one of those plants secretes something for attention deficit." Taking note of Carter's expression, Jack changed his orders. "We'll have to go back and look for it tomorrow. Daniel, go with Carter to the gate and notify Hammond that we won't be home as scheduled. I'll go find out if we can greatly inconvenience these people for one more day by using their carts and animals, and one more night by asking for accommodation." Shaking his head, Jack barely giving his archaeologist a glance as he huffed away. "Come, Teal'c."
 
Carter stared at Daniel without saying a word as she headed off down the path to the stargate. Daniel watched her go for a few moments before jogging to catch up.
 
_____
 
"I really am sorry, Jack." Daniel had stood, guiltily watching the CO mingle. Night had fallen long ago, and SG1 had tried to contribute to the meal prepared by Shedefra and Sujeya, Jzeda's wives, but they had stared politely at the packets of MREs and declined. Now Jack wandered, trying to look inconspicuous in a household of activity, and tried to decide if polishing his gun would be rude.
 
"Forget it."
 
"You're angry."
 
"Not angry, Daniel. If you said ticked off, then Bingo."
 
Daniel gave a slight nod, but could think of nothing else to say. He had apologized; usually he was more on task than this, but after all, anyone could misplace one small item. Of course, this one belonged to a highly classified government operation, and didn't come cheap. "Don't worry. It won't happen again."
 
"Damn right."
 
As he walked off, Jack could sense Daniel's eyes following him. Maybe he was being too hard on the guy; Daniel was usually in the top hundred percent when it came to reliability. Anyone could have an off-day. But when it came right down to it, they were off-world, thousands of light years from home, and the unexpected could happen at any time. There was no room for bad days.
 
_____
It took most of the morning, but they finally found the device buried in the long grasses, patiently awaiting rescue. Daniel breathed a sigh of relief; they really hadn't wanted to leave any alien Tau'ri equipment on this foreign world. Another night and he'd really have seen just how ticked-off Jack could get. "Sorry, guys," Daniel apologized once more.
"Nevermind, Daniel. Just see how long you can keep your mind on your work, oh, starting now?" Jack jumped into the cart and waited for the others to follow, before directing the animals back to town.
 
_____
 
The computer screensaver had cycled through its slide show twice before Daniel realized he'd made only doodles on his notepad. SG1 was scheduled for a visit to P4J 294 - Adrontu - tomorrow, and the more he thought about those inhabitants, the more excited he became. The city boasted a Greek Island-style atmosphere, with its outdoor eateries - well, tea gardens - and color schemes. And the people seemed as curious about SG1 as SG1 was about them.
 
Tossing his pen onto his desk, Daniel decided to make up for his lack of accountability last mission and be a bit early for this final debriefing regarding Adrontu.
 
_____
 
"Where's Daniel?" Jack had been drumming the table with his fingertips. His question was asked of no one in particular yet his head was turned towards Carter. They'd been waiting ten minutes; Daniel was late for the debriefing.
 
"I don't know, sir. I haven't seen him this morning."
 
"Have him paged, Colonel."
 
"General, I'd like to go get him myself."
 
"Make it fast, Colonel. Debriefing is postponed for thirty minutes only. Dismissed."
 
_____
 
"Daniel?" It took longer than thirty minutes for Jack to finally encounter Daniel coming out the stairwell on level 18. The CO had allotted himself two final minutes before putting in a soon-to-be sarcastic call on the PA system, but in all fairness he'd really wanted the chance to see Daniel alone first. "Daniel! Hey! Where have you been?"
 
"Jack! Hi. I was just making a call to the Colorado U library at Denver, then figured I'd grab some breakfast. Uh, lunch. Food," he amended, tapping his wristwatch. Was it that late already?
 
"Isn't the elevator working?"
 
"What?"
 
"Nevermind. You missed the debriefing." Jack watched Daniel's face closely; he knew Daniel knew the meeting had been called for 1100 hours.
 
The expression on Daniel's face clouded, and for a moment there was a black hole of silence in the otherwise empty corridor.
 
"What time was it called for?"
 
"Eleven hundred hours. Thirty-five minutes ago." But you knew that.
 
"Oh. I didn't - " Daniel paused, frowning. He didn't what? Realize there was a briefing today? For what mission?
 
"What's going on, Daniel?"
 
"I have no idea."
 
"You've been practically oblivious to everything the past few days, Daniel. Got something on your mind you'd like to share?"
 
"No. Not that I can think of."
 
"Really."
 
"Really, Jack."
 
Jack's eyes narrowed. "Then I suggest we get back downstairs and explain to the general how there's nothing on your mind, including your obligations."
 
"Jack - "
 
"Leave it, Daniel. Either spill what's bothering you, or get your act together. That's an order, for what it's worth."
 
Daniel just nodded and followed Jack into the elevator.
 
_____
 
The others were already seated when the colonel re-entered with Daniel tagging behind.
 
"Doctor Jackson?" Hammond's gaze pierced the air between the two men.
 
"General, I apologize. I don't know why I forgot about the meeting."
 
Hammond nodded, filing his concern into a pocket of his mind. "Let's get on with this. Major? You may begin."
 
"Well, sir, P4J 294 seems to be a planet that's quicky dying. As you know, they claim to have used up most of their natural resources, but in recent years they've learned how to better sustain their environment. They now believe they could have lived in harmony with nature while retaining their way of life. They have an understanding that could benefit us Sir, if we had time to study both their past failures and now, their successes. They're asking for relocation in return for sharing their experiences and the scientific knowledge they've accumulated in recent years. Daniel was able to learn even more from the visiting scientists who spoke Aramaic, General."
 
The general looked at Jackson. "Doctor?"
 
"Sir?"
 
"What can you add?"
 
"Um…" The scientists had said… had said… something important. Hang on; wasn't 294... Adrontu... but it was so beautiful... couldn't be Adrontu, but then…what was this about relocation? "I'm not sure exactly what Linda's referring to."
 
Four heads shot up in unison.
 
"Linda?" Jack stared at his younger teammate.
 
"To whom are you referring, Daniel Jackson?'
 
"Lin…" Daniel stared in confusion at Sam. "I meant Sam."
 
"Daniel, who's Linda?" Sam frowned.
 
"Um."
 
"For crying out loud, Daniel," the tone in Jack's voice dripped with irritation. "Is that was this is about? A woman? Lost in daydreams, are we?" he chided sarcastically.
 
"No!" Daniel folded his arms across his chest. "No. Linda was a classmate in public school. She… Sam reminded me of her for a moment. Short blond hair, blue eyes." As if that would explain everything, Daniel sat back in his chair. He was well aware it explained nothing.
 
"General. I recommend that Daniel go to the infirmary," Jack may have sounded adamant and irritated, but behind his eyes lurked worry. "He's been forgetting things lately."
 
"I'm fine, Jack."
 
"Are you? Are you really, Daniel?"
 
Staring at Jack, Daniel realized his forgetfulness was starting to, well, bother him. Kind of.
 
Slowly he shook his head. No.
 
But when the team was dismissed and Daniel got up to leave, he paused outside the debriefing room door.
 
"Daniel? Let's go."
 
"Jack - "
 
"Infirmary, Daniel. No argument."
 
"Jack -"
 
"What?"
 
Daniel's face bore a trace of panic. "Which way is the infirmary?"
 
_____
 
"He's losing his memory? What, again?" Jack was fidgeting. This wasn't, like, a permanent thing, was it? "And this is happening because…?"
 
"I can't tell you that, Colonel." Janet was overtly aware of the anxious looks painting the faces of all SG1 members. "Brain scans show no injury or obvious deterioration. Memory tests can't identify the cause of the problem, just that there is one. Daniel's overall health is excellent, his blood and urine samples were negative, and he hasn't been on any medication recently, other than his regular antihistamines."
 
"So there's no reason for me to be forgetting things." And yet he was, so in effect, they were wandering in circles, getting nowhere.
 
"Well, Daniel, the things you've been forgetting aren't exactly normal. Sometimes we all forget where we put our belongings or what time we have to be somewhere, but Sam's name?" Or where the infirmary is? And in the testing, for a moment Daniel had seemed to be unsure of how to read his watch, much to his dismay and that of Dr. Frasier.
 
"Replaced by a girl you knew… what, thirty years ago?" Jack prodded. "Doc, could it… you know, …be…"
 
"Colonel?"
 
"You know." Jack turned his attention towards the table, his lips forming a tight line, and slowly twirled his pen between tense fingers. Regressing to a previous era in one's life could be indicative of an Earthly ailment that no one ever wanted to think about, but even Jack knew they had to consider the possibility, no matter how unsavory. His aunt had gone through this, and it had been a heartbreaking experience for everyone. The very thought that Daniel... Jack shuddered involuntarily, his expression sullen.
 
"Colonel, while some of the memory loss suggests the possibility of Alzheimer's, that is a condition that normally occurs later in life. However, early onset isn't that uncommon, especially if it's genetic, so we can't rule it out. We have no idea if Alzheimer's runs in Daniel's family; his parents both died too young and he never knew his paternal grandparents. If this is genetic, we won't ever find that out."
 
"Aren't there tests to, um," Daniel began.
 
"To diagnose Alzheimer's? Other than what we've already done, only an autopsy would tell for sure, Daniel. And I dare say it's too early for that."
 
"Oh yeah," Jack agreed heartily.
 
"Will Daniel Jackson's condition worsen, Doctor Frasier?" Teal'c had not heard about such a condition previous to this day. Jaffa did not lose their memories. Might this affect his teammate's ability to continue on SG1?
 
"Well, if it is Alzheimer's, it can take years to fully develop, Teal'c. But..." but did this need to be stated out loud? It will eventually lead to severe brain damage. Long term care. No need to elaborate further.
 
Teal'c understood the reluctance, the unuttered implications. "Is there nothing that can be done?"
 
Apologetically, Janet glanced around the table. The only eyes glaring into hers were those of Jack O'Neill. Even General Hammond was staring at his hands. "There's nothing much we can do. There are some drugs that may slow down the effects, but for the most part, it's irreversible." Sensing the increasing discomfort in the room, she hastened to add, "We have no solid evidence that's what it is though. We'll monitor Daniel for sleeplessness, depression, anxiety, and other emotional symptoms."
 
"What about P3... 3J 190, Doc?" Jack suggested. "The magnetic stones?"
 
But that idea had already been considered, down in the med labs; no stone had been left unturned, so to speak. The doctor's head shrugged slightly. "I won't rule anything out, Colonel, but that hasn't affected anyone else. It doesn't seem a likely possibility." Not that they would neglect any alien cause, ever; they had learned their lessons on that count, the hard way. Even so, there was very little they could do to quickly test the stones' effects on memory. The lab techs were trying them out on rats, and would likely know something within a few days.
 
 "Janet, there's another possibility," Sam interrupted.
 
"What are you thinking, Sam?"
 
"Well, what Colonel O'Neill alluded to a few minutes ago; we've seen Daniel lose his memory before."
 
"Are you suggesting this may be a side effect of descension?" Dr. Frasier queried.
 
Daniel's eyes grew wide. "You think I'm regressing to when I returned from … there?" he waved his hand around awkwardly, self-consciously, ripples of air felt only by his fingertips.
 
"Well… we have no way of knowing what descension does to a person," Sam reminded him.
 
"Oh great, so I'm an experiment again."
 
"And if it is a result of his descension, doc?" Jack inquired sharply. Just a little beyond Earth's technology…oh wait; any technology, come to think of it.
 
"Then it is still likely to be irreversible."
 
"Unless we can contact Oma."
 
There was an empty silence in the room, as six individuals surveyed each other's reactions. They knew they could not contact Oma; Daniel would just have to take his chances and they would all just have to patiently wait around and see what time would bring.
 
"Okay; this sucks."
 
_____
 
 
Jack cautiously strolled into Daniel's lab, always wary and afraid that one of these visits Daniel would no longer recognize him. He realized that thought scared him more than he'd like to admit. He'd been through that once, and the memory of his excitement at seeing Daniel alive after a year shattering when he realized his friend no longer knew him, kept recurring into his fears.
 
His hopes that something on P3J 190 had triggered a partial, temporary synapse blockage had not come to fruition. The rats could not be put off finding their food even in the presence of the magnetic stones, nor had the lab techs found anything of relevance in any of the other samples. Daniel had eaten and touched the same things as the rest of the team, as far as they could tell, but no one else seemed to have been affected. Unknown variables were always possible, of course; bug bites, allergic reactions to air wind water soil food clothing… but there was no way to test these things for a reaction such as memory loss.
 
And it could have been something from any of the other planets they'd explored this month… or last. It all boiled down to the fact that nothing seemed to be helping, and nothing unusual was showing up in any scans or bloodwork.
 
"Daniel?" he asked tentatively, as he always seemed to do nowadays.
 
"Jack?"
 
And once more, Jack released a relieved breath. "Hey. How ya doing?"
 
Daniel nodded. "Okay. I've done some more pages of translations, and only forgot where "S" comes in the alphabet twice," he joked half-heartedly.
 
Jack studied his friend. Daniel seemed to be holding up well; the man was becoming adept at hiding his anxiety. When Daniel made statements like that, Jack never knew any more if he was joking.
 
"Just came to tell you we're going to P1X 247 tomorrow. Hammond gave 294 to SG6."
 
Daniel nodded again.
 
"Anything you want us to bring back?" Least he could do was offer, anyway.
 
"No."
 
Setting his jaw, Jack moved closer to Daniel's desk. "I thought you wanted photos of the scrolls in the old library. I'll get them for you."
 
Daniel shrugged. "I don't think anyone will have time to study them. I don't think I will, either." What library was Jack talking about, anyway?
 
Jack heard the insinuation in the simple statement, and the unstated fear. "We'll be back in a couple of days. I'll bring the photos."
 
_____
 
Sam was working on some small unobtrusive equipment as Daniel walked into the lab, her back turned towards him. As Daniel surveyed the five others working in the room, he painfully tried to recall their names. Only three looked familiar: Doctor Lee, who had accompanied him to Central America, and Jay Ful…Felger, odd little nervous guy whom Daniel had been introduced to after his return from Omaland. The third was Siler, who'd been around for years. Daniel knew him well. As for the others, well, he may have known them once, or perhaps they were new here.
 
Silently he prayed it was the latter.
 
Concentrating on the name they had told him - Major Sam Carter - he approached from behind, hesitatingly tapping her on the shoulder. "Sam?"
 
Sam swung around, her blue eyes bright and inspirited. "Daniel?" Carter's face lit up at the sight of her friend. He'd used her name; was that - was that a good sign? "Do you remember me?" She held her breath, hoping.
 
Caught in the midst of saying yes, Daniel knew the lie would be detected. He remained silent, looking at the woman's hopeful expression. He couldn't do this to her. "Sort of." He did remember her - from lunch yesterday. That much wasn't an untruth.
 
Her face fell, gaze dropping momentarily to Daniel's hands, before regaining her composure and meeting his eyes. Sort of. "Do you remember working with me for weeks after we first returned from Abydos, trying to configure the Stargate addresses to their current alignments? We had just met." And bonded instantly. How could you not remember that?
 
But Daniel just stared at her, guiltily, subconsciously tightening his lips.
 
"Do you remember when we found Cassie?"
 
His stare deepening, Daniel thought. Cassie; he remembered a little girl, remembered finding her somewhere…
 
"I took care of her. You helped me through every minute of that, Daniel."
 
No. He didn't recall that part.
 
The silence told her all she needed, and she couldn't help it; she turned her back to Daniel. But that was only to keep the tear from actually slipping out - or from Daniel seeing it.
 
"I'm sorry….Sam. I know I'm getting things wrong, and I'm sorry if I hurt you. When I hurt you, because I know I do." His voice quiet, subdued, he continued. "I came to say good luck. I hear you're going out on a mission."
 
With her back to him still, Sam nodded. "Thank you."
 
And Daniel nodded too. Then, with a slight acknowledgement to the others in the lab who had been pretending not to stare, not to eavesdrop, he turned and left the room.
 
_____
 
Carter found Jack in the library, standing there, staring at the scrolls that lined the walls. All the workable material here was hanging; the center of the room remained empty save for pillows to sit on while studying the huge hanging scrolls, and the few students utilizing them. And O'Neill just stood, staring vacantly at the walls. To most people, he might have looked as though he was actually contemplating the things. This had been a long two days.
 
"Colonel?" Carter was beside him now, and Jack half-turned to acknowledge her presence. "Are you okay?"
 
"This is wrong."
 
"What is, sir?"
 
"This," Jack shrugged. "Daniel should be here." Shades of his own sentiments from the previous year, when Daniel should have been with them. Couldn't, wouldn't; hadn't known he'd come back from the infinite power trip.
 
Sam nodded. "Yes, sir. He should."
 
"Where's Teal'c? I think we need to get back."
 
Hesitating, Carter bit her lip. "He's checking out the construction site next door."
 
"Pack up."
 
"They've invited us to watch the children's performance tomorrow, sir…"
 
"No."
 
"But we sai -"
 
"I want to go back, Carter." Jack stared Sam directly in the eye. "And you don't?"
 
Frowning, Sam observed the newest scuffs on her boots. "He hardly ever recognizes me any more, sir." He calls me Linda.
 
"And that hurts."
 
Carter nodded, her gaze now adjusted towards the rock tile floor.
 
"Well it hurts me being here and not there, Carter. We're all in the wrong place right now. No need to watch a children's performance; we're just wasting time."
 
Sam nodded. "Yes Sir."
 
"So pack up. I'll get Teal'c."
 
_____
 
"How's he doing?"
 
Janet shook her head. "He's deteriorating too quickly. He gets frustrated, Colonel. Just when he appears fine, he can't find the words to express himself, and his depression resurfaces. It's understandable, but frustrating for us as well. There's nothing we can do; none of the drugs I've been giving him have seemed to make any difference, other than making him irritable and sleepy."
 
"It's okay for him to be working?"
 
"For now I don't see any harm in him working in his office. Mostly the forgetfulness is worse on Daniel's self-confidence than on anything he could do wrong."
 
"So. What now?"
 
"I have no idea, Colonel. All I can foresee is the memory loss becoming more pronounced with the passage of time."
 
"So, Alzheimer's."
 
"It's happening far too quickly, Colonel. But until we know otherwise, that's how we have to treat it. Or at least, whatever part of the brain has been affected, it has the same results, in the longrun. Without intervention, this isn't going to change "
 
"Damn it, Janet. There has to be a way to contact the Ancients."
 
"Even if you could, Colonel, we don't know that they could do anything for him."
 
Just then, Carter stepped into the room, seeking an update herself before going to Daniel's office. She stopped abruptly at the sight of O'Neill's expression. Not that he hadn't been frowning a lot lately, but seeing as he had obviously just been talking to Janet…
 
"Sam," Janet's voice was soft.
 
"Janet? How is he?" Damn near afraid to even ask.
 
"Sometimes alright, Sam."
 
"Sometimes?" Carter's voice caught; she looked hesitantly into the hall, weighing the wisdom of completing her casual goal of visiting her friend. She hated when he called her Linda.
 
"Come," Jack motioned her to accompany him; they could visit Daniel together.
 
_____
 
And they found Daniel with his head in his hands, leaning over a text, eyes closed. Looking up when he heard his teammates approach, he forced a smile. "Jack!" Noticing Sam, he frowned. "I'm sorry; have we met?"
 
Silence, deep and gloomy and brooding, ensued. Noticing the stunned and hurt expression on Carter's face, Daniel attempted an apology. "I've said something wrong."
 
Jack finally intervened. "Daniel, Sam is your teammate, and a good friend."
 
Daniel shook his head. "I don't have a team any more, do I, Jack. But I don't remember… you look like someone I once knew; her name was Lin…Lin…." Daniel stuttered, then stopped. "Something."
 
Sam turned and fled the room.
 
"I'm sorry, I di- "
 
"Carter!" Jack spun, needing to go after his second-in-command, yet needing to stay with Daniel.
 
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset her!" Daniel was flustered, his expression filled with regret for an action that he hadn't understood. "I'm sorry!"
 
"Not your fault, Daniel." Jack''s voice broke. Changing the subject in avoidance, he glanced around the office. No new artifacts to play with. "We just got back a couple of hours ago. Thought you might want some company."
 
"Got back from where?"
 
"We went to P1X247, Daniel, remember? The place with the scrolls and the library, the school for philosophy students or whatever you were calling them. Those baby monks?" Teenage; whatever.
 
Daniel was already shaking his head "I haven't got a clue what you're talking about."
 
"Daniel," Jack moved closer, "why do you still remember me?"
 
"I…"
 
"Who's Teal'c, Daniel?"
 
"Former Jaffa, from Chulak. Member of SG1."
 
"Your team."
 
"Formerly," Daniel agreed bitterly. "I haven't forgotten everything yet, Jack."
 
"Who else was on SG1?"
 
"You."
 
"And…?"
 
Daniel was growing distraught. "There was someone else?"
 
"Sam."
 
"Who?"
 
"Never mind, Daniel. Do you remember how to play chess?"
 
_____
 
He hadn't, really, but Jack overlooked the lapses and let his friend win anyway. It was just so fucking hard watching this happen and being unable to prevent it.
 
Daniel's descension and subsequent discovery by SG1 had seemed so sudden, that the team was hit in the face with the knowledge that although he was alive, Daniel did not remember them. That had hurt, but this time they could only wait around helplessly, trying to ease Daniel's terrors and anxiety as he waited for everything he had ever known to be deleted from his mind. He felt like his own computer shutting down at the end of the day.
 
It was only another day before Daniel could no longer contribute to the archaeology team, and the realization had been abrupt and sudden.
 
He had looked at some photos of carved plaques, and not only could he not remember the planet, he could not recognize or decipher the script.
 
And then, he could not remember the stargate.
 
______
 
"So what if it is the ribbon device?" Another theory, another assumption that couldn't be proven - or reversed.
 
Sam had postulated that perhaps Daniel was not relapsing. Maybe all the times that Daniel had had his brain fried with that Goa'uld hand technology were now taking their toll. How many times now? Ra, Skaara, Amaunet, Osiris… was she leaving someone out?
 
"Hell, Carter, it could be Nem's memory machine for all we know. How does that help us?"
 
"If it's the ribbon device, then we don't need Oma, Sir. Maybe the Tok'ra can help." And then they wouldn't have to send Daniel away to the USAF Academy Hospital for long-term care.
 
"Long shot, Sam. Try it."
 
_____
 
But the Tok'ra were nowhere to be found.
 
And he'd waited long enough to suggest this, but now Dr. Lee faced his superiors with an edge of nervousness. He wasn't partial to the emotional outbursts of Colonel O'Neill, but he did feel a gratefulness towards the officer for having pulled him and Dr. Jackson out of Central America and the clutches of madmen. Well, O'Neill had come for Daniel, anyway; Dr. Lee still questioned - and rather doubted - that the colonel would have shown up in the nick of time had Daniel not been down there with him. As for Major Carter, well, he kept his distance. Much as he respected her and enjoyed - most of the time - hearing her ideas, he could not forget her anger at him the previous year while out looking for Colonels O'Neill and Maybourne, and her penchant for bossiness had him avoiding her most of the time. Which was why he hadn't invited her here.
 
Dr. Lee swallowed and looked General Hammond in the eye. "General, I think we may have something that can help Daniel."
 
The attention of both officers was automatically centered and focussed on the scientist. "To what are you referring, Doctor?"
 
"To something at Area 51."
 
"Oh, here we go. They want Daniel to be a lab rat?" O'Neill spat.
 
"I was not aware that you were doing research at Area 51, Doctor Lee." Hammond frowned. He didn't remember sanctioning such an assignment.
 
"I'm not, Sir. I've just been consulting with them."
 
"What is it that they have, Doctor?" Hammond had grave doubts that he would allow Area 51 to have anything to do with Doctor Jackson, but he would not dismiss this man without hearing him out.
 
"Uh…I'll take you to see it, General. Colonel."
 
"Not going anywhere until you tell me why, Doc."
 
Dr. Lee had known they wouldn't be swayed very easily, but he'd hoped that he could persuade one of them just to come and see for himself. Words were not going to work in this case, but seeing was believing.
 
"Colonel O'Neill, Daniel saved both my life and my sanity down in Central America. I want him to get better as much as you do. Just let me show you what I'm talking about."
 
"Here's a better idea. Why don't you tell us what you're talking about or stop wasting our time?" Jack had no idea if he still held a grudge against the scientist for allowing Daniel to put his life in danger for him, or if he would have been this confrontational anyway. But any sentence with the name of Area 51 in it had to have asterisks attached to its premises.
 
Dr. Lee gave in, realizing he had no other choice. "They have a sarcophagus."
 
"What?" The reaction was stereophonic.
 
"Where did they get a sarcophagus?" Jack tried to think back to all possible planets, and came up empty. And unless there was another covert operation functioning somewhere, which was itself impossible… unless they also had another Stargate, which was also impossible…
 
"They didn't. They built it."
 
"What?" This time the surprise was even more evident, and it was a few moments before anyone said a word.
 
"Doctor, may I ask how they did that, when even Major Carter has no idea how a sarcophagus operates?"
 
Dr. Lee bit down on his tongue, thinking of the best way to approach this. "We do now, General Hammond. We've powered it with Telchak's device."
 
"No way." Jack's eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed and his voice adamant. "Daniel's not going in anything that uses that thing."
 
Bill turned now to address O'Neill. "Colonel, we know that Telchak used the device to create the first sarcophagus. Modified versions have powered up the sarcophagus for millennia. It isn't dangerous when encapsulated within the encasement which serves to dampen the effects; the naquada directs the healing energy to the source of the injury, which heals without harming the rest of the individual."
 
"I happen to disagree, Doc, and so would Daniel. That negative energy does go somewhere… and we're talking straight to the brain here. You weren't around when he… let's just say he didn't need to be healed, and paid the price."
 
"This time he does need to be healed, Colonel."
 
And this time Jack couldn't disagree.
 
_____
 
Daniel was sifting through his books, trying to make sense of the writings and languages. So far, he was having an aggravatingly frustrating time.
 
"Daniel?"
 
The archeologist looked up to see Jack standing in the doorway.
 
"Jack."
 
Another breath, as O'Neill smiled briefly. Never knew, he never knew. "Daniel… why do you think you were so quick to forget Carter - Sam - and no one else?" Not me; still haven't forgotten me. Thank you for that, by the way.
 
Daniel frowned. "Sam." They'd told him that was Linda's real name, right? "How do I know? She reminds me of Linda; you don't."
 
"Remind you of Linda? You've made my day, Daniel."
 
"You don't remind me of anyone I used to know." Daniel's eyes watered, filling with the panic he'd tried to stifle for the past several days, the denial forcing its way to the surface like a volcano's heat and energy. "Jack? Why is this happening to me? I can't... I, I don't ..." Can't go through this, don't want to go through this, don't want to leave here this way, don't want to forget you...
 
Jack observed his friend glumly, the man who'd opened the stargate, led their way into the universe. The scientist so far ahead of his peers that they were still lost in the dark ages of archeology.
 
"Calm down, Daniel. Think for a minute. Was there anything you were working on with Sam, anything on any of the planets, that neither Teal'c nor I touched or maybe even saw? Anything in the labs? You were working with Carter in the labs a while back, remember?"
 
Well he didn't, but why was it relevant? "If there had been, Lin - wouldn't she have been affected too? Or the other scientists?" This was not helping; Daniel couldn't find calm in his present repertoire.
 
"Maybe it doesn't affect women. Anything on P3J 190 that you never told us about?" C'mon Daniel, don't forget everything, here. I need your help on this.
 
Daniel's dejection was increasing. He couldn't remember. "What planet was that?"
 
"Marshes, swamps, animal carts, nice people."
 
"I don't remember it."
 
"You left the naquada detector in the grass."
 
Daniel shook his head, desperation battling to defeat him. "So you're suggesting Lin - Sam - and I inhaled swamp gas that women are immune to?" his tone was mocking, nerves on edge. God, this so wasn't helping. Please, Jack.
 
In denial, Jack tucked Daniel's fear into the back of his mind, the pleading eyes tugging at his sense of powerlessness. He shrugged in exasperation. "Just tossing around theories here, Daniel. Didn't say they were good ones." He tried again. "When did you first notice your forgetfulness?"
 
"Can't remember."
 
"Okay, you can't remember when you started to forget; fair enough." His first recollection was on P3J 190. He'd yelled at Daniel's lack of attentiveness to his job. Ouch. Sorry, Daniel. But this was getting them nowhere; Jack succumbed to the fact that his reason for this visit might turn into reality. He despised the thought of Daniel actually having to use that nasty soul-sucking contraption, powered by an evil energy no one really understood. But.... "Daniel. We want you to try a sarcophagus." Blunt and to the point. No beating around the bush; make it seem like the most natural thing in the world.
 
"What? Where? Whose sarcophagus?" Daniel was staring, wide-eyed and apprehensive. He may at times forget how they arrived at other planets, but he hadn't forgotten the big gold healing boxes.
 
"Area 51 built it. It's powered by Telchak's device."
 
"Are you crazy?" Daniel's eyes grew even wider, lips rounded in horror. He also remembered that. The look of shock on Daniel's face was not one that Jack had ever wanted to evoke. He briefly turned away.
 
"Apparently. Look, Daniel, I don't like the idea any more than you do, but that's what happens to give the sarcophagus its healing abilities. And much as I hate to admit this, the docs here can't help you."
 
"I don't want to go near that device, Jack."
 
"Okay. Do you want to go to the Academy Hospital?"
 
_____
 
They arrived at Area 51 six hours later, all of SG1 along with Doctor Lee.
 
Daniel hesitated upon seeing the sarcophagus, that plain gray metal exterior smaller than the ones used by the Goa'ulds. He pulled back.
 
"It's safe, Doctor Jackson," Dr. Melac assured him. "And it works."
 
"You've tested it?"
 
"Mostly on animals, but Dr. Porter went in it with her sprained ankle and came out healed. We're going to test it on one of our scientists who has a heart condition."
 
"And on me."
 
Melac nodded.
 
"You don't have to do this, Daniel," Jack reminded him. He had seen what that device did on its own, and would never allow Daniel near this thing if he had any reason to doubt its efficacy. Then again, he had no reason to trust it, either. But he was as desperate as any of them.
 
"Do I have a choice?"
 
"There's always a choice, Daniel." Sam's voice was troubled, filled with concern. Daniel looked at her, but still couldn't recall any of what they'd been through together. He dreaded the probability that he would forget the others as well.
 
So, no choice.
 
Stepping forward, he forced himself into the contraption. Earthly built, using Goa'uld technology. Crude.
 
Or, more appropriately, crud.
 
Jack pressed his lips together, watching the lid close. He had to trust Telchak's device here, the scientists at Area 51 who very possibly were not revealing everything they knew, and Dr. Lee. For some obscure reason he thought he'd rather trust the Tok'ra.
 
There was uneasiness flooding the room, shifting of feet and restless movements. No one spoke; what was at risk here was more important than any experimental healing device. It was Daniel's only chance at being normal again.
 
The lid did not stay closed for long, but then, Daniel did not have a life-threatening injury to cure.
 
Only breathing could be heard in the room when Daniel raised his upper body and sat up, looking around the room. "Jack?" He caught sight of others. "What am I doing here?"
 
"Do you not remember, Daniel Jackson?"
 
"Teal'c? Um… no, I… S…" Daniel continued to frown. What had he been about to say… Sam? Why in the world would he be calling Linda "Sam"? "Um… what is this thing?"
 
_____
 
Hope had reverted to disillusionment and despair as they had taken Daniel home. If anything at all, the sarcophagus had made him worse.
 
Whatever had taken hold of Daniel could not be eliminated so easily, or else it had regained control almost immediately. Or perhaps the sarcophagus only worked for obvious physical injuries; they had never tried it on anything related to the mind, and there might be no organic or physical reason for Daniel's memory loss. Teal'c could shed no light on this matter.
 
As for Carter, she just assumed that since the Goa'uld grew more and more despicable with cumulative sarcophagus use, no positive effects could ever be associated with the brain. They just hoped they had not damaged Daniel further, in ways that weren't yet clear and obvious. Please leave his soul intact.
 
All they knew was that he was getting worse, and they could not help him.
 
Nor could SG1 find a way to keep Daniel from being deported, sent away for long-term care. He was having trouble finding his way around the base.
 
"Where are they taking me?"
 
"To the hospital, Daniel. A real one, where they can try to find some way of helping you." Before they send you to some institution forever... Jack was optimistic only with his words. And only for Daniel's sake.
 
"And then what?"
 
"And then… then we see."
 
Daniel nodded, and accepted that there was no choice here. Being a burden to those he thought of as friends - although those had become fewer as names were forgotten, then faces - was not something he had ever wanted to be.
 
And so he went with the truck, the transport, pretending it didn't matter, pretending it didn't hurt. Pretending he was going some place where he could get better. Knowing he was lying to himself.
 
"We'll visit you."
 
And Daniel nodded, knowing he might not remember them by the time they did.
 
_____
 
Watching him leave had torn her apart, and Sam had gone to sit in Daniel's office for a while. Once again, he would be replaced. Once again, Daniel was no longer a part of their team. Maybe he was never meant to be around for very long. Maybe that was his destiny.
 
And maybe it was theirs to always be missing him.
 
Sam cursed her thoughts, self-indulgent and selfish. She was thinking of herself, not Daniel. Memory loss did not mean that he had forgotten his own life, that he would be happy living in a hospital, a place that was not his own. Didn't mean he'd forgotten that he loved to read, speak foreign languages, study Egypt and other ancient societies. And even if he had forgotten all those things - he would not have forgotten that he had once had friends.
 
And so far, it was only Sam whom he had forgotten completely. He still knew Jack and Teal'c most of the time.
 
She tried to curb her jealousy and pain.
 
_____
 
Daniel faced Anubis, his anger and fear supplying all the momentum and motivation he needed to rid the worlds of this evil being. No longer caring what would happen to himself or Oma, his heart knew that nothing was worth ignoring the evil lurking within this veiled creature.
 
Focussing his hatred on destruction, Daniel summoned all the power he knew boiled within himself, and aimed.
 
Anubis stood there, waiting. For what? This was not Goa'uld-like.
 
And the fire and heat and energy hit an invisible barrier, sucking itself back towards him. Daniel knew that was not Anubis' doing. "Don't do this!" he cried, knowing the ascended would not let him triumph, that their rules negated his burning desire to act, that they wanted him removed.
 
And in a swift flurry of thoughts, Daniel received their knowledge that they could not send him back to Earth. The ascended beings were afraid for him, not knowing what Tau'ri reactions would be to his sudden reappearance amongst them. They did not want him injured, or imprisoned, or forced to answer questions he could not answer.
 
And so he would be sent to a simple, accepting, barren land where he could find the stargate and return home on his own.
 
On his own?
 
Daniel knew in a fraction of a moment that his memory loss was an accident.
 
They had had only seconds to react, to understand what Daniel was doing and to stop him. In their haste to remove knowledge of themselves, more was taken. It was not meant to be so.
 
Daniel awakened, dim afternoon sunlight filtering in from the sides of the closed shades, and knew he was no longer in the mountain.
 
No, he was in a hospital, and might never go home again. Not much to do here but sleep, and they had given him something -
 
The dream fast forwarded, returning to his memory, fresh and alive and troubling. Just a dream; no, the Ancients weren't calling him back, weren't recalling his memory. It had been just a dream.
 
And what was that about facing down Anubis? Why had this dream seemed so real? Why did it feel as though he was remembering?
 
Daniel shuddered, and got up to work at his whiteboard, facing a second day alone.
 
_____
 
 
Back in her lab, Sam threw her jacket onto the chair, or rather, the floor where it landed, and plopped herself down at her computer, ready to delay another potentially sleepless night with a late load of research.
 
The unlabelled cassette tape nearly went unnoticed, as she buried her face in her hands. Had that been there yesterday? Plugging it into a machine, she sat back, curious and almost forgetting for a moment what they had done to Daniel. Where they had sent him, just yesterday afternoon.
 
As she listened, her expression went blank.
 
Anger, then denial began to consume her. With uncontrolled fingers she fidgeted to get the tape out of the player, grabbed it, picked it up from where it fell, and dashed off to meet with the colonel and General Hammond.
 
_____
 
With fingers trembling from anger and nerves, she pressed play. Hammond's expression was nearly as blank as Teal'c's, waiting; O'Neill's was tense. She had told them nothing, but her demeanor and haste had them alerted to disagreeable news.
 
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Major Carter, I swear. I heard that they took Dr, Jackson. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for anything like that, I swear I didn't. I mean, I knew how close he was to you, and I only wished you could think of me that way. A little bit. I mean, I work beside you in that lab, I try... I do, I try so hard, and Dr. Jackson, well, all he has to do is give one simple suggestion and you, you know, ... I just wanted Dr. Jackson to forget his feelings for you -"
 
"Dr. Felger?" General Hammond's astonished expression matched the rest of SG1's, although a little less antagonistically. Jack was incredulous and inwardly fuming, Teal'c was frowning, and Major Carter seemed frightened. She had already listened to the whole thing; to think that this was because of her, that Daniel's life had been interrupted and turned upside-down because of her -
 
"I've been working down in the main lab a lot this past month, sir, with Jay and Bill... Bill Lee, sir. Jay - Dr. Felger - has been in there when Daniel's given us a hand a few times."
 
"Major, was your relationship with Doctor Jackson anything but - "
 
"No, Sir!" Carter adamantly shook her head. "Whatever Jay thought, he was misinterpreting everything!"
 
Hammond released the pause button.
 
" - but he wasn't supposed to forget everything! I swear, the virus wasn't programmed to do that. I don't know where it went wrong, it was only supposed to make him forget how much he likes you - "
 
"Get on with it!" Jack growled, impatiently waiting to hear exactly what Felger had done. He glared at Carter. "What's he talking about?"
 
"He created a tiny microchip with, uh... that programming, and injected it inside one of Daniel's antihistamines. It supposedly went straight into a single cell in the part of the brain that controls memory, Colonel. It was too tiny to show up on the scans. He, uh, he got the idea from Urgo."
 
"And something went wrong?" Jack asked gruffly.
 
"Apparently, sir. The virus seems to have spread beyond its intended target."
 
Ya think? "And where the hell have we heard that before!"
 
"He did this just before our mission to P3J 190. The magnetic soil there may have had a direct influence on it, sir. It quite possibly enhanced or expanded the effects of the device."
 
"Get Dr. Felger down here immediately," Hammond ordered anyone who wanted to move.
 
_____
 
But Felger was not responding to phone calls, nor was he anywhere to be found. A further search indicated that he had left the mountain.
 
"He always had a crush on you, Carter. The entire base knew that."
 
"I know, sir, and I didn't handle it well." Carter was trying not to lose it in front of her CO, but she was nearly in a panic. Feeling guilty and embarrassed, her confession resumed. "I avoided it. Actually, I ignored it. And now Daniel's paying for that. God, what should we do?"
 
"Find him."
 
Carter bit her lip. "I may know where to do that," she offered.
 
"Go," ordered the colonel, looking at his watch. 2140 hours; still early enough. "I'm going to tell Daniel."
 
_____
 
Pausing in the doorway, Jack watched. Daniel was standing in front of a large whiteboard, copying and recopying the alphabet from the upper template.
 
"Watcha doing?"
 
Daniel turned, half smiled. "I don't want to forget this, Jack."
 
Jack frowned. "What, the alphabet?"
 
"I know I speak - spoke - a couple dozen languages," Daniel shrugged, biting down on his lip. "You told me. But I can't remember them." He paused, looking back at the board, feelings tugging within him that he preferred to keep hidden. "I don't want to forget this one."
 
Briefly surveying the sparse room - bed, chair, small dresser, smaller night table - Jack pulled up behind his friend. "Daniel - "
 
"What if I forget you?" Daniel spun around, his expression harsh, creased with emotional pain. "I don't want to forget you, Jack."
 
Jack inhaled sharply. "You won't."
 
"I did!"
 
"You mean - your descension, right?"
 
"I forgot you, Jack! Last time I didn't anticipate it happening; now I am."
 
"Look, Daniel. We found out why this is happening to you."
 
That single statement captured Daniel's full attention, but the man just waited for his friend to continue. Knowing didn't mean healing, and he was already too used to disappointment to employ - or enjoy - false hope. How could they have found out this quickly? He'd only left the mountain the day before.
 
"Dr. Folger - Felger - designed a microchip to interfere with your friendship with Carter," Jack stated simply, "out of jealousy. Put it in your antihistamine and now it's lodged, uh, somewhere in your brain."
 
"And…?" And and and and?
 
"Carter's looking for him now, and I'm taking you back to the mountain for more tests."
 
_____
 
"I won't go back." Well aware that he would be brought up on charges, he had tried to hide - but where was there to go? And the military, especially Sam Carter, had ways of finding almost anyone. All she'd needed was to talk to his mother.
 
But Jay wasn't sure he'd really wanted to hide from Sam. Now she knew how he felt, but what she didn't know was the remorse in what he had done to Dr. Jackson. He wanted to tell her that, and to tell Daniel, if he could bring himself to face the man. She'd never like him after this, that fact was a given. His career was ruined; what did he have to lose?
 
Question was, what more did Daniel have to lose?
 
It wasn't supposed to turn out this way; the chip was too tiny to control such a huge chunk of Daniel's memory. It was just supposed to affect one teeny tiny little piece of it…no one should ever have noticed.
 
But Jay realized that Daniel's feelings for Sam spanned more than a few simple memories. She was embedded into his life.
 
"You have to. You have to work on a way to neutralize this."
 
"What?" his eyes grew wide. "You trust me to, to, to put something else into Daniel?"
 
"Well…" No, she didn't. "Janet says the alternative is surgery, and that's too risky considering she can't even find the chip." They'd need to do more scans, now that they knew, sort of, what to look for. But surgery would still be excessively difficult, if not impossible, and dangerous. Yet, they couldn't just leave Daniel the way he was.
 
"The last time I tried to counteract something, Sam, I shut down the whole gate system." He flinched, remembering.
 
"That's it!"
 
"Wh...what?"
 
"Create an anti-virus that will negate the effects of the microchip." Sam was looking at him in earnest. "Shut it down!" Playing around with Daniel's brain did not seem like a solution, and this scientist had screwed up way too many times. But this was also Daniel's only chance.
 
______
 
"I don't trust him."
 
"Well, neither do I, sir. But he's all we've got."
 
With a hostile look of distaste, Jack snarled. "I'm comforted by the thought, Major."
 
"He wants us to promise not to press charges if he can re-program that chip," Carter attempted a poor rendition of a smile. "He needs to send money to his mother every month."
 
"He's a calamity project, Carter."
 
"But still a brilliant scientist, Sir."
 
"Too smart for his own good."
 
"He didn't want to hurt anyone."
 
"He tampered with Daniel's brain, Carter!" Jack growled.
 
"He owned up to it."
 
"He's dangerous."
 
"Sir - this is Daniel's only chance."
 
"What, short of opening up his brain and sorting through the mess in there?" Jack shot back. "Scary thing is, I'm not so sure that's the worse scenario."
 
"Sir - just let him see if he can come up with anything. I think we owe Daniel the option."
 
"Daniel will still be a damn guinea pig, Carter. There's no way to test what he comes up with, and you know it."
 
"And you know that if he doesn't, Colonel, one day Daniel is going to forget who you are."
 
_____
 
And so…
 
They waited, nervously, wondering if they could actually trust Felger with another piece of over-advanced technology.
 
"Yes, yes, this is it, it has to be, I'm sure of it! It wasn't really that hard to figure out, Colonel, well not really, just, well, maybe... no, no, I know this will work. All I had to do was create a tiny little off-switch, one that would seek out the earlier microchip, bond with it, and self-activate on a timed release schedule." Felger beamed up at his supervising officers, the CMO, and the rest of SG1.
 
"And we're going to give this to Daniel, how?"
 
"Um, just like before, same way, Colonel. In his medication." Felger's now confident demeanour wavered slightly. "Aren't we?"
 
"Super." Jack grumbled and stood, shaking his head. Glad the man knew exactly what he was doing. Something was feeling oh so wrong about this, yet what could be worse than Daniel losing who he was, on a permanent basis? They had to try something. No use voicing his misgivings out loud and make Felger nervous, at least not until after he'd inserted the thing into the tablet. "That's it?" Jack squinted. He could barely see it; it looked like a knick of lead chipped off a pencil tip.
 
"Impressive, isn't it? Just think what we could do with these!" Felger was nearly bouncing. "They can be programmed to include any type of response, then fed to animals to train them to be anything: guide dogs, police dogs - "
 
" - zatarcs," Jack offered. "What do you think the Goa'uld use these things for, Felger?"
 
Jay paled. "Oh my god. No, I... I hadn't thought of that."
 
"Yeah, well."
 
Hammond put an end to the accusations and theorizing, There was only one thing they had to concentrate on at the moment, and it was going to be one step at a time. "Colonel O'Neill, go get Doctor Jackson. If he agrees, we'll do this right away."
 
But they already knew Daniel had agreed.
 
_____
 
Nerves were on edge for the rest of the afternoon, tension high and conversation curt and rigid. For after having consumed the antihistamine, Daniel had tightened his features, complained of a headache, and had fallen asleep.
 
He had slept for four hours straight.
 
And impatiently, SG1 and Doctor Fraiser waited, paced, watched, hoped, and did it all over again. In the background, his chair pushed right back to the wall, sat Jay Felger, silently crossing his fingers, going over and over his calculations in his head. This had to work; the plan had been perfect.
 
"He's waking up!" Carter's voice had the effect of a gale force wind, blowing everyone in the same direction. They stood by the bed now, all except Felger, hearts racing.
 
"Daniel?"
 
"Jack?" Daniel squinted, getting used to the light intruding upon a disconcerting and strange sleep. The ancients had been there, telling him they were sorry he'd forgotten everyone who mattered, asking for forgiveness but Daniel hadn't wanted to forgive, for he couldn't remember that he did that sort of thing. He couldn't remember his own name. "Teal'c, Janet." Someone else was hovering behind Jack, looking pensive and afraid. "Sam? What's wrong?"
 
Laughter broke loose in the release of heightened tension and stress, and Sam came forward to give Daniel a meaningful peck on the cheek. "I'm fine, Daniel. Honest."
 
"Way to go, Daniel." Even Jack was grinning.
 
In the corner Felger smiled, stood, and unobtrusively backed out of the room. For some strange reason, it wasn't bothering him to see Sam and Daniel interacting in this way.
 
"Daniel Jackson. Do you remember what has occurred?"
 
Daniel paused. "I was losing my memory. I…" He retraced the steps in his mind, working back as far as he could go. "I remember forgetting you, Sam. God, I'm so sorry." Daniel's comprehending eyes met hers, glad to see a lack of hatred or hurt. "I remember everything."
 
A body plunked itself down heavily on the edge of the bed, and a hand slapped gently at his leg. "Cool." Jack's eyes squinted at Daniel. "Even me yelling at you for forgetting things?"
 
You yelled at me for forgetting? Puckering up a side of his lip. Daniel squinted back. "You bet."
 
"No problem then. Welcome back."
 
_____
 
Daniel stepped into the lab, noting no one was there save for Felger. Sam had engineered that, upon Daniel's request.
 
"I hear you're being transferred to Area 51." Jack had worried about the damage that might be done, but figured the facility deserved him - uh, could use him.
 
"Yes," Jay beamed, happy to still have a job - and a research one at that, perhaps where his novel ideas would be more welcomed than at this conservative place. His grin changed to solemnity. "I'm really sorry, Dr. Jackson. I never meant to hurt you."
 
"You wanted me to forget a friend, Jay."
 
"No, you weren't supposed to forget her completely."
 
"Just forget what she means to me? Look, all my friends here are important to me. All of them." Daniel refused to look away from Felger's eyes. Let him see exactly what he meant. "And I don't know what I would do without them."
 
"I know. I'm sorry. Really I am."
 
Daniel nodded. "Be careful what you invent over there, Jay. Jack's right; we don't need any more zatarcs."
 
Jay watched Daniel leave. He'd learned from this. Maybe he should've come up with some chip that would make people care about each other, instead of forgetting them.
 
In fact, he knew exactly how to make that work…
back home
 
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